PSA: Pisces Are the Best at Sex

Thoughts and prayers to the Capricorn lying next to you as you read this.

Pisces sex
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No offense to anyone else, it’s just a fact: Pisces deliver more heat between the sheets than any Scorpio and Leo combined, multiplied by every Gemini you’ve ever met.

And I have proof (besides, like, every Pisces you’ve slept with). Pisces is a water sign—they are easygoing and nonjudgmental and will almost never call the police when you want to try something a little freaky in bed (consensually freaky stuff only, pls).

Whether you’re in an LTR with a Pisces or you’ve hooked one (did you really think I wouldn’t do a fish pun?) in your DMs, they’re gonna listen to your fantasies and *get* why you want what you want. Count on them to act understanding. Emphasis on the word “act.”

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The head-in-the-clouds dreaminess that annoys you IRL makes Pisces extra creative at sex and able to commit fully, Anne-Hathaway-in-Les-Mis style, to role-play, dirty talk, dressing up like Beanie Babies, old-fashioned network-TV-style lovemaking...where was I?

Oh, yeah: Pisces is ruled by Neptune, the planet of imagination, so if you don’t feel like supplying the fantasies, they’ve gotchu. They have ~ideas~.

But wait! That’s not all. If you order now, you’ll also get a free supply of high emotional intelligence. So if you, say, need endless attention (hi again, Leo) or lots of postcoital cuddling (ILY, Cancer), a Pisces is exactly who you want spooning you.

Go fish already!

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