Spoiler: Butt sex, BDSM, and masturbation are only a few of the many things made even more magical by a Hitachi.
Despite being a professional sex writer, somehow I've never tried the original Hitachi Magic Wand. My only defense, and don’t hate me, is that most of my vibrators are sent to me by PR companies for free, and no one thought to send me an original Hitachi Magic Wand until now. How rude.
The Hitachi Magic Wand, which was first trademarked in 1968, wears the crown of the most iconic sex toy. Of course, Hitachi, didn’t market it as a vibrator, but rather, a personal massager. The Magic Wand even looks like a household appliance. When the wand became an icon n the '70s, female pleasure and masturbation were even more taboo than they are today. But women could enjoy a night of self-care with their massager. While it’s easy to look back at this as sex-negative, the cover worked. Women could go buy a Hitachi for their “sore muscles” and enjoy sexual pleasure without a penis present. If anyone said shit about them owning one, be it the sales person or their husband, they could say, “I need a massage,” and not even have to lie.
Shop Now Magic Wand (Corded), Babeland, $60
The thing is, I discovered, is that the Magic Wand really does work well as a back massager. It’s pretty incredible; it’s like those massage chairs you sit in to get a pedicure concentrated into one hand-held machine. My Magic Wand showed up at my door on a Friday that I had a date night planned with my partner. Even in 2018, for some men, their partner’s relationship with a sex toy that provides mind-blowing orgasm without the need of a penis, is intimidating. One woman told me that her husband made her cut the cord of her Hitachi, a confession which, I feel awful for including in this piece, but I am so traumatized by it that I had to share. Truly an act of violence against women in its own rite.
Thankfully, my male partner isn’t intimidated by sex toys, and so I tossed the clunky wand in my shoulder bag and brought it over to his place. We went full out with candles, mood lighting, and spa music, and he gave me a massage—with the Hitachi. Honestly, I would own the Magic Wand solely for the body massage. I laid on my back, and he rubbed it along my neck, my shoulders, and my lower back, and I felt my tension knots melting. We plugged it into an outlet near the bed. Of course, they sell cordless Hitachi Wands now, but I was into the cord. It felt classic and chic, and plus, I didn’t need to worry about the vibrator pooping out on me because the batteries ran out, which always tends to happen when you’re about 10 seconds away from coming.
The massage turned erotic, and he used it on my ass, and thighs, teasing near my clit. I highly recommend using the Magic Wand with a partner as an actual massager and enjoying a full-body massage with a happy ending. Or, if you want to use the Magic Wand during penetrative sex to get you off clitorally, the handle makes it perfect for foreplay. Also, the Magic Wand is great for butt sex. Allow me to explain.
Anyone with a vagina who also enjoys anal knows that anal sex requires more preparation and foreplay, as the butt hole isn’t self-lubricating like a vagina, and it just hurts more at first. But when done with adequate preparation, anal sex can be an intense, cathartic, and highly pleasurable experience. You must use lots of lube, and before your partner penetrates you with their penis or a dildo, warm up your butt hole with smaller objects, such as fingers or a butt plug. (If you’re using a silicone butt plug or dildo, use water-based lube, as silicone breaks down silicone).
Many of us hold tension in our ass cheeks, so have your partner give you a butt massage, and then tuck the end of the wand on your butt hole. It feels so good. The only thing you have to be careful about is transmitting butt bacteria from the anus to the urethra, which could cause a urinary tract infection. Wash off the head of the Hitachi before switching from booty hole vibrations to clitoral vibrations, or slap a condom over its head, which I promise, won’t lessen the vibrations.
Shop Now Magic Wand (Cordless), Amazon, $90
After a full body massage, ample use of lube, and a Hitachi wand buzzing at full speed against your clitoris, it becomes much easier to have anal sex. The clitoral stimulation turns you on, and when you’re turned on with a throbbing clit, your sphincter muscles will chill out a bit. Seriously, you’re so relaxed that your body feels like you took a Valium. Everyone needs to know that Hitachi Magic Wands make anal sex better.
Despite having some of the best sex of my life, I felt like I needed to do my feminist foremothers justice and use the Magic Wand all on my own, with no penises around, to masturbate and get off. Damn. The classic Hitachi comes with two speeds: low (holy shit), and high (holy shit my clit is going to explode). I closed my eyes, went to my favorite fantasy island in my head, and turned on the Hitachi. I had it at the low speed but thought it was the highest because I was going to come in under ten seconds.
If I was insecure about my ability to get my female partner off, and was scared of back massagers, and saw my partner come this quickly, I could understand the intimidation (I’m joking, I would think it was hot to watch my partner come that quickly). I turned the Hitachi to full speed and came my face off; there’s not much more to say because it all happened so quickly, like my life was flashing before my eyes.
If you have a partner who's supportive of Hitachi Wand use, may I offer a kinky suggestion? Have them use it on you, bring you to the brink of orgasm, and then stop. Repeat until you feel like you’re going to die. Especially if you have a submissive streak, handing over the Hitachi to your partner’s hands is an erotic release. Use it like the many women before you, by yourself, to treat yourself. Or, use it with a partner who is secure enough to allow sex toys into their heart.
All those before us who had to lie to their husbands and pretend they were just massaging their backs would want nothing less for us than a partner who cares about the clit. In conclusion, the Wand is as magical as people say it is.
It works like a Dr. Seuss poem:
It gets you off by yourself in the sheets;
It actually feels good on your feet.
It gets you off with a dick in your bum;
Anyway, anyhow, it’s going to make you come.
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