When it comes to sex, there are a whole lot of different types you can have: There’s oral sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, romantic sex, kinky sex, sex on trains, sex in planes, sex on boats, and sex that cannot be defined. But allow me to introduce you to something you may have never considered: ball sex.
Yes, I’m talking about having penetrative sex with testicles. It’s something I never even thought possible. But one night, as I was doing one of my 2 a.m. internet doomscrolls, I came across a sex toy called the Balldo and discovered that it’s absolutely a thing.
According to its website, the Balldo, $69, is considered to be the world’s first-ever ball dildo that “allows you to penetrate your partner with your balls and unleash pleasure that you’ve never experienced before.”
And the reasoning behind why someone would choose to use it is actually pretty practical. Since the Balldo theoretically turns someone’s balls into a second penis, if your partner has a hard time getting or keeping an erection, this offers a different way to experience penetrative partnered sex. Plus, according to the creators of Balldo, using this toy can give penis-havers a completely different type of orgasm called a ballgasm.
So because I’m curious and always down for something that will give me or my husband more pleasure, I asked him to give this a try with me. As for the results? Let’s just say my vagina is still sore.
First, let’s break down how the Balldo works:
Basically, the Balldo is a sex toy that lets the person penetrating their partner do it with their testicles. It launched toward the start of 2021, and I can confidently say it seems to be the only sex toy out there in the turn-your-balls-into-a-second-penis market.
When it first arrived on my doorstep, I can confirm I had never seen anything quite like the cage-looking cock toy. Sure, it was smooth, flexible, and the shape of a penis, but it also looked like a medieval torture device. Here’s the visual they provide:
Admittedly, even with the visual, we had a hard time figuring out how exactly it would work, so I watched this YouTube video on it. (Highly suggest you do the same because it’s a very funny instructional video that looks like it was made by the creators of South Park.)
Preparing for the ball sex
From the video, I learned the first step of the whole “having ball sex” process was for my husband, who hasn’t manscaped since 2013, to shave his balls. Without doing that, hair-pulling and pinching would apparently be a major possibility.
So after a lot of googling, I sent the hubs off to the bathroom with a hair trimmer and stared at the Balldo with a mixture of fear and excitement. The toy is only three pieces of stretchy-yet-sturdy silicone, but it resembled a chastity device with its thick straps and covered head.
With the head of the toy measuring at about 6" around, it wasn’t the largest thing I’ve ever shoved up there, but it just seemed kinda invasive. And as someone who generally tends to prefer clitoral toys over dildos and outercourse over intercourse, I could feel my body tense up just looking at what was about to go inside me.
So in an effort to relax, I grabbed some CBD vaginal serum and smeared a very healthy amount along my vulva, hoping a high vagina would be more receptive to my husband’s testicles than my mind was.
As I waited for the goop to work its magic, I got our sex playground (aka the couch) prepared. We weren’t sure what all the experience would entail, so we decided to stick to a well-lit area and have some scissors, some wine, and a safe word ready, just in case.
After 15 minutes, my husband finally emerged from the bathroom with a hairless dick swinging. With one quick glance at the device he was about to strap to his genitals, the love of my life said, “Let’s go balls-deep.”
Trying out the Balldo
According to the video, the first step after shaving the balls was to apply some lube in all his nooks and crannies. Then I held his penis away from his balls while he attempted to squeeze the device onto his testicles.
After a few failed attempts at actually getting the toy over my husband’s balls and one freak-out moment when a testicle got caught above the band and I started reaching for the scissors, we were in business. I leaned back, opened my legs, and got ready for the ~insertion~.
Now, even though my vagina was officially feeling relaxed from the serum and wet from the lube, and even though we had spent a few solid minutes fooling around to warm up, the next five minutes were some of the longest of my life.
In an effort to get the toy inserted, my husband kept jabbing at my vagina, unsure how much pressure to use and unable to feel where exactly he was poking. The problem was, it just wouldn’t go in.
We added more lube, I propped some pillows under my butt, we used a different type of lube, and nothing was working. It wasn’t until I lay back with my legs up and over my head and hooked under the windowsill of my living room that the Balldo found its mark.
At this point, my vagina felt somehow both bruised and numb, but I could tell we’d finally succeeded by the loud gasping sound my husband made. And then again, two thrusts later, when he came all over my stomach. According to him, it felt like the device “squeezed” the climax out of him. (It did no such thing for me.)
A few days later, after my vagina no longer felt like it had gotten probed by an alien device, we tried again, much more seamlessly. This time, he lasted way longer—about 15 whole seconds—before experiencing another deep ballgasm that sent me running to the shower and researching how to get semen out of couch upholstery (blot with detergent, FYI).
Clearly, it was a success for the hubs.
I had a feeling going into this experiment that the Balldo wasn’t going to do much for me, aka the receiver and vagina-haver. But it definitely did something to my husband. He loved it. And while we don’t necessarily need it because my husband gets an erection almost too often, I can see how it could definitely be a game changer for anyone who struggles with erectile dysfunction.
But in my personal opinion, the Balldo itself is pretty intimidating. For us, it would only be ideal for kinky or BDSM-style sex—less so for quick, lazy sex where you both want to get off without much effort or ball shaving. Next time we use it, I’ll just make a note to incorporate a vibrator into the mix for my own orgasm.
So say what you will about the aesthetics of the Balldo, but clearly, it did what it was supposed to do and literally had my husband by the balls.