I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your masturbating habits are completely normal. I don’t care how often you do it, when you prefer to do it, or what time of day you do it. If it gives you pleasure, your masturbating habits are normal—and completely encouraged.
Even if some studies say that the average woman masturbates a certain amount of times per week, I promise there’s no “average.” Your pleasuring habits are completely singular to you and what feels good.
If you’re all like, Okay, okay, I’m just vaguely curious about how my habits stack up with other women’s, then fine. I hear you, and we’ve collected a variety of responses from 14 folks to show you just how different everyone is when it comes to their masturbating habits.
But remember, since masturbating is So! Much! about you and your personal preferences, you’re bound to see some differences. And for what it’s worth, we should absolutely celebrate these differences rather than compare ourselves to them, mmkay?
How often should you masturbate?
Again, how often you “should” masturbate is completely up to you, what feels good, and what your schedule allows for. Even if you see an article mention an “average amount of time” to masturbate, no study can tell you that.
How many times per week do you masturbate?
- “About once every two days. Like, three or four times a week.” —Sam*, 28
- “I usually don’t masturbate on a regular basis. The amount of times I masturbate varies depending on how stressed I am. I do it more often to release stress and shift my energy when I find myself feeling overwhelmed (which has been notably more often as of late).” —Natalie*, 35
- “Once per week.” —Desirée, 55
- “I’d say about five times a week.” —Shelby, 18
- “Depends on the week and how stressed I am because it’s usually a huge stress reliever for me. I’d say at least one or two times a week.” —Riley, 24
- “About four or five times a week.” —Jen, 24
- “Typically six to eight times.” —Sarah, 26
- “Around three or four times.” —Kaylea, 24
- “My guess is 14 times.” —Myrna, 29
- “This can vary greatly depending on factors such as stress, sleep, time of the month, etc., but normally between three and six times per week. Sometimes I can go a whole week without masturbating, while other weeks it will be at least once every day.” —Lilly, 27
How long is a typical masturbating session for you?
- “I typically masturbate for about 20 minutes before climax.” —Sam*, 28
- “The sessions are typically short, ranging from 5 to 10 minutes, but can sometimes last 15 to 20 minutes.” —Natalie*, 35
- “Twenty to thirty minutes.” —Desirée, 55
- “It can vary between 30 minutes to 2 hours.” —Shelby, 18
- “Usually, like, 5 to 10 minutes.” —Riley, 24
- “Around 15 to 20 minutes.” —Jen, 24
- “Ten to fifteen minutes.” —Sarah, 26
- “I’d guess 20 to 30 minutes.” —Kaylea, 24
- “Five minutes.” —Myrna, 29
- “Again, this can vary greatly depending on the situation and time available. Normally between 5 and 15 minutes.” —Lilly, 27
Do you use any sort of toy when you’re masturbating?
- “I own a wand, which produces a nice hearty rumble. Also a little handheld pod.” —Sam*, 28
- “I don’t use toys. I do, however, use crystals like fire agate and rose quartz sometimes.” —Natalie*, 35
- “A vibrator.” —Desirée, 55
- “Nope! I don’t own any toys, unfortunately.” —Shelby, 18
- “I don’t always use a toy because sometimes your fingers can stimulate the most pleasure, but bullet vibrators are bomb for quick orgasms, which is usually what I want.” —Riley, 24
- “Sometimes! It depends on if I have time to properly clean it after. But I have a pink rabbit that is clutch!” —Jen, 24
- “No, I haven’t thought about buying a vibrator.” —Sarah, 26
- “Sometimes I use a vibrator.” —Kaylea, 24
- “I use whichever vibrator is closest to me and whichever one has a full battery. If not, I use my Hitachi wand when I want an intense, full-body orgasm.” —Myrna, 29
- “Yes! I’ve found that I love it because it’s super quiet and completely waterproof so I can use it in my shower without my housemates hearing. Definitely a plus in a shared house! It’s also much less buzzy than lots of other toys, which I’ve found can lead to longer, stronger orgasms.” —Lilly, 27
And while we’re on the subject…about how many toys do you own?
- “None.” —Natalie*, 35
- “Two.” —Desirée, 55
- “One at the moment, but I usually have more—I just end up tossing out my sex toys if I bought them with my boyfriend at the time and we break up.” —Riley, 24
- “At the moment, the rabbit is the only one I have. But I have owned several toys throughout the years. At most, I’ve had four at a time.” —Jen, 24
- “Three!” —Kaylea, 24
- “Seven, not including whips, handcuffs, and chains. My collection is ever growing.” —Myrna, 29
- “Twelve.” —Lilly, 29
At what time of day do you most often masturbate?
- “Normally around 7.” —Sam*, 28
- “I tend to masturbate most in the early morning and occasionally when I cannot sleep at night to relax.” —Natalie*, 35
- “Mornings, usually after sleeping in.” —Desirée, 55
- “Usually at night, around 11 p.m.” —Shelby, 18
- “At night, or whenever I feel really freakin’ stressed.” —Riley, 24
- “At night before bed, usually to help relax at the end of the day and try to sleep.”
- “The morning.” —Sarah, 26
- “In the morning.” —Kaylea, 24
- “Once when I wake up and once when I am about to go to sleep.” —Myrna, 29
Where and in what position do you most often masturbate?
- “I like to do it in the bedroom, normally on all fours.” —Sam*, 28
- “I masturbate in my bedroom lying down on my back and/or stomach and in the bathtub most often.” —Natalie*, 35
- “In my bed on my back.” —Desirée, 55
- “Definitely in my room! Privacy! And I find it easier on my back.” —Shelby, 18
- “In the shower or bath, normally sitting down.” —Riley, 24
- “In my bed and I alternate between on my back and on my stomach depending on how tired I am.” —Jen, 24
- “My bed, while lying on my back.” —Sarah, 26
- “In my bed while lying down.” —Kaylea, 24
- “In my bed on my stomach.” —Myrna, 29
- “In bed or in the shower as I’m lying down on my back.” —Lilly, 27
Do you orgasm every time?
- “I only ever orgasm when I’m thinking certain thoughts. I need to be
imagining that I’m a sexy queen and that a handsome, dominating drone
will take control of me. For this reason, I masturbate with my eyes closed,
as reality often disappoints.” —Sam*, 28
- “Nine times out of ten.” —Natalie*, 35
- “Yes, since that’s usually the goal.” —Desirée, 55
- “Yessss.” —Shelby, 18
- “No, not every time.” —Riley, 24
- “Nine out of ten times, yes!” —Jen, 24
- “Just about!” —Sarah, 26
- “No.” —Kaylea, 26
- “Yes. Although while clitoral stimulation is a guaranteed O, it’s not my preferred orgasm.” —Myrna, 29
- “Yes, mostly.” —Lilly, 27
Do you masturbate more or less often when you’re in a relationship?
- “I masturbate more often when I’m in a relationship, as I’ve often found
relationships not to be quite as sexually gratifying as I need them to be.” —Sam*, 28
- “Less in a relationship.” —Natalie*, 35
- “The same amount.” —Desirée, 55
- “Less often.” —Anette, 24
- “Probably about the same. Maybe slightly less.” —Bailey, 28
- “Less, since what would be masturbating can be sex sometimes.” —Carina, 28
- “About the same.” —Desi, 25
What feels the best: clitoral stimulation, internal stimulation, anal stimulation? Or a mixture?
- “I prefer external stuff, primarily clitoral stimulation.” —Sam*, 28
- “A mixture of clitoral and internal stimulation feels the best.” —Natalie*, 35
- “Clitoral stimulation.” —Desirée, 55
- “Fun fact: I can actually O from clitoral stimulation.” —Shelby, 18
- “Honestly, I haven’t explored many things other than the clitoral stimulation with a bullet because it’s just so reliable.” —Riley, 24
- “Clitoral stimulation for sure! Occasionally, internal stimulation is preferable.”
- “Clitoral.” —Sarah, 26
- “Internal stimulation.” —Kaylea, 26
- “Clitoral and internal.” —Myrna, 29
- “A mix. I always need some sort of clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm though. I only recently started to experiment with different methods and sensations. I used to think that every orgasm was pretty much the same and had a set-out formula for how to get there. I’ve been discovering different kinds of orgasms through experimenting with different parts of my body and from using different toys.” —Lilly, 27
Any parting words?
- “Orgasms are much more clinical when I am single. I tend to be more intentional about masturbation when I am not in a relationship. When I am in a relationship, I look forward to sex and orgasm as a way to connect with my partner as opposed to just needing an orgasm to relax and/or clear my mind.” —Natalie*, 35
- “It’s definitely a healthy stress reliever and a non-drug sleeping pill!” —Jen, 24
- “I find that I enjoy masturbating in the shower. And also, for me, porn can be nice but it’s honestly thinking of the guy I’m with or someone I have a crush on that gets me going. Playing out a potential real-life scenario in my head is way hotter.” —Sarah, 26
- “I was never told that it was normal until I was in college. I felt so dirty and shameful doing it when I was younger. Now I know that I was definitely not the only one masturbating at a younger age. I wish I knew then what I know now, and that’s to own it and it helps figure out what you like.” —Kaylea, 24